A History of Reading

This doesn't happen often (not often enough, at least), but here I am at Barnes & Noble.... alone.

I am here often enough with the girls for Storytime. We arrive early to make time for potty breaks and play in the toy section. Then we head to the children's book area and listen to the story, sing songs, and color. After that, if both girls are in good spirits and behaving, we go back to play with the trains and blocks again before we drive home for lunch. Not once do I browse at books. My eyes are glued to the girls while we're here. I talk and am social with the other mothers. I am in a bookstore, and I don't look at a single book.

I have had a lifelong affair with books. My parents read to my brother and I when we were young. There was a shelf of books in my room from as early as I can remember. I spent summer vacations with my nose in books, even going so far as to finish the pages in the vocabulary workbooks that my class didn't get to complete during the school year. I loved reading. My Mom always had to tell me to close my book when we were eating dinner together as a family. I didn't understand why I couldn't keep reading when we weren't much of a conversational family in the first place.

While sitting around the stage for Storytime, I do peek at the titles of the books lined up on the shelves surrounding us. Youth Fiction. My favorite store to visit whenever we went to the mall when I was a kid was called "Young Editions." It was a store filled to the brim with youth fiction. My favorite book series still to this day is the Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander that I picked up at Young Editions. It was a sad day when the store closed.

I spent most of my high school career in a library. Two different high schools, three different libraries (you have to include the county library, of course). College wasn't too terribly different, come to think of it now: add two more schools and three more libraries to the list. It's no wonder that my first job post college was as a file clerk, never minding the fact that my degree was in graphic design.

Here, in this town, I haven't found a library that I like yet. The one closest to us is small and old, and I haven't spent the time to explore others. It's no wonder that Barnes & Noble is my current refuge for books. Before we had kids, Senpai and I would come here to grab a coffee drink and sit together on a bench by the window to browse through the magazines. I would inevitably leave Senpai on the bench while I explored the stacks, looking for a new Haruki Murakami masterpiece or something similar. Later, when Rosemary was growing in my belly, I would pick up parenting books.

It's a shame now that I don't even look at the books most times I'm here. Sometimes Senpai joins us, and he and I will trade off watching the girls while the other finds reading material. He'll go off to the magazine racks, and when he comes back, I make a quick trip to the parenting books. I can peek through those quick enough to see if there's anything that calls to me. But here I am tonight, alone with my thoughts and all of the time in the world to explore. So if you'll excuse me... I've got some new fiction to discover.

A More Outgoing Cupcake

Rosemary takes after me in many ways. She is very serious, shy and anxious, and it takes her a minute to get comfortable with new situations.



We think part of the problem is her allergies; it's hard to be happy when you're sick. That's how I feel most days, unfortunately: run down, tired, and just trying to catch a break. To be 100% happy, it helps to also be at 100% health. The allergies hit her hard. We try to fight them with daily doses of Children's Zyrtec and the occasional hit of Benedryl, but she's still a cranky little lady during pollen season. I'll never forget when we first took her to visit Senpai's grandparents and other extended family in upstate New York: our cranky colicky baby did a complete 180. She was smiling! Happy! It was a miracle! I became very depressed at the thought of taking her back home. :-(


R in upstate NY, 2010. Not crying!


R today. Now that the weather is turning colder she is starting to brighten up again.


Birthday Party

Most of her friends have Fall birthdays. At the beginning of September, Rosemary, Poppy, and I went to her friend A's party. Senpai had Reserve duty and couldn't make it. Oh my gosh... we ruined that party. Rosemary was shy as always, hanging onto me and not venturing away to play with the other kids (all of whom she knew and had seen at Storytime many many times before). I think the pollen count must've been high that day because something caused her to escalate. The tears and screams from both R AND Poppy (P had her fill of being knocked around by R as she climbed all over us) forced us to leave early. I asked A's mom to apologize to the other party guests for us!

Later in the month we were invited to another friend's party. Senpai also would not be able to attend due to Reserve duty, so as much as I hated to do it, I declined the invitation. I didn't want to ruin this party, too! The mother of this child had been at A's party and understood my fears. Fast forward to the end of October, and there was yet another invitation. This mother had been at A's party, too, and still she was brave enough to invite us! This time, though, Senpai was available to help. When the mother nudged me that I hadn't RSVP'ed yet, I bit the bullet and said yes.



This party was a success! Rosemary played with the other kids and the toys, she talked to complete strangers, asking them what they were doing, and she had conversations with not so complete strangers, too. She called A's father "Daddy." A did not like that. :-)


Ms. Sue

An ongoing socialization project I have with the Cupcake is to get her to "Say 'Hi' to Ms. Sue!" I tell her that every time we walk in Barnes & Noble, "Be sure to say 'Hi' to Ms. Sue!" Ms. Sue is one of the story tellers. She is great. She knows the names of all of the regular Storytime kids, and she always comes over for a chat when she sees us around the store. (I might add I think she's a bit enchanted by Rosemary in particular, but that could just be my Mommy pride.) Rosemary has always been shy, though. Ever since I started bringing her to Storytime at one year old, whenever Ms. Sue tried to greet her, she would run away and hide behind my legs. As the Cupcake has blossomed and started being more talkative with others, her wall against Ms. Sue alone continued to hold strong. Imagine our excitement when there was finally a breakthrough this week. 


Rosemary started by talking to complete strangers in the cafe. Okay, I thought, this is great! She isn't running away screaming, yay! When Ms. Sue saw us and walked up, Rosemary must've still been riding the high of talking with the other people, that she just continued to talk and directed her speech to Ms. Sue! It turned out to be a lengthy conversation... from what I could tell it had something to do with R wanting to throw away her lollipop stick. Ms. Sue didn't understand most of what she said, but you could see that she looked so pleased. :-)



I am so excited to see her social butterfly stretching its wings. I love to see this smile, too. I hope the progress continues and she learns that talking to new people is not scary, in fact, it is a wonderful way to learn more about the world we live in. It's something I am still trying to teach myself. I used to think that small talk was the bane of my existence. Well, small talk is only small if you think of it that way. Another way to look at it is that it is the doorway to the vast world of another person's experiences. Experiences that I may either be able to relate to, or may know nothing about. So find out. You hear that, Cupcake? Find out.

The Cupcake's 2nd Birthday

The Cupcake turned 2 on Thursday.

We celebrated by going to Storytime. She got a free cookie from the cafe, and all the kids at Storytime sang the birthday song for her. The rest of the day (the whole week pretty much) was spent trying to prepare for her party today, Saturday.

It was a Winnie the Pooh party, of course. :-)


I designed the invitations myself (the blue (purple?) square is hiding my RSVP info).

I would be lying if I said I was truly happy with the party. It was absolutely a great time, and R had fun with all of her friends, but we did not give ourselves enough time to set up. The party started at 10, and I rolled into the parking lot at 10:03. Senpai was there already, setting up an elaborate tree decoration in the middle of the park pavilion (that we did not get pictures of!!! SOB), but there was still so much else to do. I rushed to get food arranged on tables, accepted all help that was offered by guests, and then we settled into the party without having taken pictures of anything (sob!). But it was a blast. I must emphasize that. As disappointed as my perfectionist self is that everything was not arranged and photographed "just so," I have to let it go and admit that it was still a fun party.

This is the only picture where you can get a hint of Senpai's tree inside the pavilion. Beautiful birthday girl, though.

UPDATE: Senpai pulled this still shot of the tree from some video we had taken. You can see my beehive piñata hanging from it, as well as a couple of goody bags. You can't see it here, but a Pooh garden statue is also hanging out in the tree. The strong wind that day gave life to the streamers and flowers as they fluttered and snapped in the breeze. It was truly enchanting to watch.
  


She had 7 friends show up!


Senpai and I spent a couple of nights last week making papier mache beehive pinatas. We each made one.


Here's the one I made. Senpai decided mine was too pretty, so his was the one that the kids demolished for candy. I wasn't sure how well two-year olds would do with a piñata, but it was actually really cute to see them all take a whack at it with the stick.


I ordered the cake from a local bakery. I had waaaaaay too much else to do to worry about how to make a Pooh cake.


We had served lunch of pulled pork that I cooked through the night, fruit and veggie trays that I cut myself (a friend helped to assemble them at the party; thank you!), beans, potato chips, and we also had huge tubs of potato salad and hummus that never made it out of the cooler (!!!). Sigh. Lots to do.


Here are the food labels I had worked on last night as my last project for the party. They got set aside somewhere at the park, forgotten about, and then not found until we were cleaning up. I wonder if more people would have tried the iced tea if they had known that it was honey green tea. Oh well.


This is what the goody bags looked like. I am happy to report that every child left with a goody bag; I didn't forget anyone! This one was leftover because we had a no show party guest.


We had balloons! There were these three mylar balloons and then we also had ten red ones. A friend tied some balloons to trees around the pavilion (thank you!) and the rest were just clipped onto the grill. So much for table decorations, lol.


R didn't spend too much time on the park equipment, but she did have a fun moment with the swings here.


Here is R on her "birthday throne," aka the travel potty set up next to the trash cans, haha. I'm happy to report that she made it through the party with no accidents! The whole day, even! And she's getting better at waking in the night to go potty. All of this means that we have a diaper-free two year old! Big girl!!!


After such a fun, enjoyable party, this is what we get to look forward to tomorrow: clean up. :-P



Happy Birthday, Cupcake!!

Toddler Playdates

I downloaded the pics off my cell phone today, so I can finally post, yay! (Side note: as it turns out, my cell phone takes nicer pictures than my old point 'n shoot. Senpai has a DSLR, which I'm sure would take infinitely better photos than both aforementioned devices, but I always have my cell phone in my pocket, DSLR.. not so much. Sprint Galaxy S for the win!)


I finally get to touch on a topic I had wanted to mention before: friends. R has friends. It's actually stressful for little toddler friends to play together at this age; they don't know how to do it yet. One kid takes the toy the other kid was playing with, then that kid retaliates by hitting and screaming. That same scenario plays out over and over again with the roles constantly shifting and changing, so no one kid can by any means be called innocent. But these are lessons that have to be learned. One day, both kids will know how to take turns, ask if they may play with a certain toy, and cooperatively play together. That's when the Mommies will be able to sit back with our coffees, chat, and relax. For now, we wear referee hats, call time outs, and negotiate terms for peaceful play. I so look forward to the future in this department. ^_^


R has had several playdates recently. The first-- I had mentioned before-- was when R wouldn't nap one day, and my wonderful friend Natalie brought her son over to play. (Though I usually don't mention names here, I will use Natalie's because I want to direct your attention to her lovely blog, NatoBottoArt: Creations from the Heart. She does a lot of stream of consciousness writing as she works through her creative process. Definitely check it out!) She mentions her son's name on her blog (and I've mentioned R's name here, too, but I still don't think I'm entirely ready to just dish it out every post), but here, I will call him I* (The asterisk is so you know I'm not referring to myself). Now that we've gotten that straightened out, back to the playdate...


R, Natalie, and I*. R had not been interested in her Wheelie Tiger for a long time until I* came along and started to ride it. All of a sudden, she likes her Wheelie Tiger again.

I love this picture! I* is a multifaceted boy, dishing out free hugs one second, and then finding new uses for xylophone mallets the next. ^_^ Here is one such hug. R has this look like, "What is he doing?" Haha, I could get really creative with the captions for this! How about, "Not cool, man. Not cool." Anyone else have a caption for this picture they want to share?


Next, she went to a Potty Party. One lady from the Mom's Group I'm a member of posted a Potty Party on the calendar. I just had to check it out! It was a small group of three mother/daughter pairs including the hosts. I'm pulling a lot of what I said in the opening paragraph from this get together, because we three moms kept trying to share potty and parenting tips amongst ourselves, but not one of us could finish a thought without breaking up a toddler fight. Though the potty aspect of the party was downplayed, it was still a fun playdate for everyone involved.

This is the only pic I took, and it was at the end of the party. All three girls were given favor bags and tiaras for being potty princesses. R had decided she didn't want to sit with the other girls right as I was snapping the shot. Oh well. At least she wore her crown. :-)


The last playdate was with R's friend, A. I've been taking R to Barnes & Noble Storytime ever since she turned one year old. I can't remember if A had been there right from the start, but pretty early on in our Storytime career, A's mom started talking to me and the little girls hit it off. I'll go more in depth into their relationship in another post (with adorable pics of them holding hands, aww!), but for now I'll focus on the playdate. Unfortunately, I only took one pic of this event, too, and it was when both girls' faces were hidden, sigh.



A's mom and I had been planning this playdate for awhile. We finally got our acts together last week. This playdate was the most low-key of them all because R was too busy climbing on me to mind what toys A was finding to play with. Except for when we went upstairs to show R's room to A and her mom. A wanted to push the buttons on R's musical nightlight, but R would not allow it. As the nightlight is actually a base to a baby mobile, I need to somehow wean R off of it before her baby sister comes! This playdate ended with lunch at a yummy Mexican restaurant. Heehee, I could use more playdates like this one. ;-)

Potty Club

I know I need to reign myself in, but I'm so excited that R is taking closer and closer steps to being potty trained. Life around here is slowly morphing into something better as old patterns are being disrupted and new rituals creep in. She wears Gerber training pants at home during the day. No more daytime diapers unless we leave the house, and even that paradigm is starting to shift.

We drove to Storytime this morning-- Senpai (off from work), R, and I-- and I took R to the bathroom as soon as we arrived. Her diaper was still dry. She sat on the toilet but nothing happened, so I put her back in her diaper. At the end of Storytime, I saw her fidget with her pants. I should've taken her to the bathroom right away, but she was in the middle of coloring, and I decided to wait. I had told myself before leaving the house this morning that we would do potty trips before and after car rides, but before I knew it, we were in the car heading home and I had completely forgotten about my rule. Not surprisingly, her diaper was wet when we got home.

She peed on the big potty before lunch (that's another rule: potty before meals), and kept her panties dry throughout the meal. When it was time to go upstairs for her nap, she didn't want to sit on the potty (the last rule of Potty Club: potty before and after sleep), and she didn't want to put a diaper on either. I fastened a Flip cover with a stay-dry insert over her training pants. She took an hour to fall asleep. In that period, I tried putting her on the Bjorn potty that now resides in her bedroom. She sat on the potty for all of 5 seconds without doing anything, but I was thrilled that her diaper covered training pants were still dry.

To recap, but mostly to remind myself, the three rules of Potty Club are:
1. Do not talk about Potty Club.
2. Do not talk about Potty Club.
3. New babies go first.

No wait, it's more like this:
1. Potty before and after car rides.
2. Potty before meals.
3. Potty before and after sleep.


If I can remember to keep to these rules, R can be a dry-pantsed toddler. From there, it's only a matter of time before she'll start to initiate potty trips herself. I'm so excited! I'm really curious to know if her diaper will be dry when she wakes up from her nap. I highly doubt it, but, man, that would be awesome if it is! Yeah, reign your excitement in, Mommy.

14 months

It'll be 15 months in 6 days, so let's get this post going...

I love her so, so much. I can not believe the love and happiness that pours out of me when I see this face.


She is getting huggy. She hugs Pooh, she hugs her doll, she hugs the cats. Anything squishy that she can get her arms around, she will pounce it. And the smiles that come with the hugs, oh man, such radiant, beautiful smiles.


She also is a whiz at pushing buttons now. She can make her Gloworm glow and her talking baby talk.



Oh, these moments that we cherish now because we know they won't last forever. I haven't been able to capture it on film yet, but when she crawls towards something she wants, she swings her head from side to side as she plants her hands with purpose across the floor, and she makes a "nnnnnn" sound that rises in pitch at the end. My little scuttlebug. I hope she'll be walking soon, but I know I'll forever miss the crawling head swings. Speaking of walking, we are not there yet. She will cruise across the house with whatever aide she can get her hands on, be it her Wheely Lion, her Alligator Walker, or a chair, but when Senpai or I try to get her to take a step away from her crutch, she won't do it. Not yet. She is standing independently more frequently now that she is wearing her orthotics, and for that I am extremely grateful. Just one more step.

Developmental and Speech Therapists from the local Early Intervention chapter were here today to see if R needed their services. After they had interacted with R and asked me questions about her for an hour, they told me that they knew within two minutes of walking in our front door that R did not qualify for treatment. She had tracked them across the room when they came in and pointed and babbled. I told them that she said "doggie" and "dog" to the Pokey Little Puppy doll she had picked up during Storytime earlier in the morning. She also can say-- not clearly enunciated, but the meaning is there-- "I did it," "done," "this," and "What is this?" My smarty cupcake. She put puzzles together with the therapists, found hidden toys, and babbled her little heart out (she was in a very talkative mood today). That isn't to say she doesn't need improvement, though. The speech therapist pointed out that R does not imitate, and she doesn't make lip sounds. I've been given lists of words to teach her, the notion to use flash cards more often, recommendations for early learning dvds, and instructions to feed her smoothies through a straw to get her pursing her lips more. I'm on it. As far as the dvds go, I'm not sure I'm entirely sold on the Your Baby Can Read or Bumblebee Kids movies. Amazon reviews are either "It's stellar; it works!" or "It's too boring for my kid to pay attention to." I need to do more research.

So that is the cupcake at 14, almost 15 months. I'm so in love.

Hello, Orthotics

It is time to say goodbye to size 4 soft-soled shoes.


Say goodbye to size 4 strap shoes.


Hello, orthotics. And size 7 extra wide laced shoes.


The receptionist from the orthotic lab called this morning, "Yes, we got R's orthotics in yest... today. When would you like to schedule an appointment to get them fitted?" I had to hold my tongue when she almost said "yesterday." Their 1 o'clock appointment today had cancelled, so I loaded R in the car, met up with Senpai for lunch, then we all headed over to the doctor's office together. It was my first time meeting the receptionist face to face, and I have no idea if she was extra cold with me due to my... displeasure with the delay, or if that's her normal demeanor. We were taken to a room with lots of toys for R to enjoy (who are we kidding? Senpai and I had fun, too), and then a jovial gentleman tried R's orthotics on her feet and shaved off the excess material. We left the room, went back to the front desk to sign off that we received the orthotics, gave a curt nod to the receptionist, then we were on our way to the mall to buy new shoes that would fit around the huge things.



R just recently outgrew size 4 shoes. We had bought her an adorable pair of size 5 strap-closure shoes (seen in pic above) last year at Nordstrom Rack, and I had just put them on her yesterday. Today, we bought size 7 extra wide laced shoes. SIZE SEVEN EXTRA WIDE. The things are humongous on her, but she is able to crawl around without them noticeably holding her back. We didn't even get to choose what her shoes would look like; those were the only ones that would work. I told Senpai on the drive home that it was so surreal to walk into the shoe store-- Laurie's Shoes by Stride Rite-- and get R's feet (correction: orthotics) sized, because I remember being young and walking into Buster Brown with my Mom. I remember what it felt like to step on that cold, metal sizing plate, and how the part that slides up against your arch always tickled. We would choose my school uniform shoes for the year, penny loafers or (my favorite) granny boots. Maybe sneakers, too. And now I'm starting the shoe journey with R. When just picking something off the shelf at Nordstrom Rack won't do, when we need to convince our not-yet-walking baby to bear weight on the orthotic-covered foot placed on this funny metal plate, and get the only shoes available to provide some sort of traction to the slippery orthotics. It's so surreal.



We're supposed to break the orthotics in gradually. She wore them for a little over an hour today, it'll be two hours tomorrow, etc. It's too soon to see improvement from the orthotics, but we are already seeing improvement from physical therapy. It's so funny, I'm in the room with the therapist and R for the entire hour, and it just seems like play. Is the therapist working or playing? It's hard to tell. But then, magically, R is standing without supporting herself on something. I'm right there in front of her, jiggling toys just out of reach, while the therapist holds her feet. I ask, "Is she... standing?" The therapist replies, "Yes, this is the third time she's done it just now." I am amazed. My jaw drops and tears come to my eyes. She can stand without support. It doesn't last long-- she's upright for only a moment before her hands settle back on the beams in front of her-- though that moment is so miraculous. After that appointment on Monday, Senpai was able to get her to do it once more at home. Just once.

There's another physical therapy appointment tomorrow, followed by playing with friends at Storytime. She's got her orthotics and super shoes now. I can't wait to see what she will do.

Fitting In

I've started taking R to Storytime at Barnes & Noble. It's nice for her to see the other kids and start getting involved in structured group activities. At 12 months old, though, she is at least eight months behind the other kids. I would like to would like to talk more with the other moms, but it's hard to strike up a conversation when you're herding toddlers just before lunch. Why does Storytime have to be at 11?



I took R over to the train table on the other side of the room when the kids began coloring. Another mom and her little boy soon came over and we started talking about allergies. Soon enough the other mothers and kids came over, and then I found it hard to get a word in edgewise. The mother of a twenty month old was saying, "She was on the potty at 16 months. We still have her in pull-ups at night..." R uses the potty... The mother of a three year old was saying, "So I ask her, 'Why don't you want to use the potty and wear your underwear like a big girl?' She answers, 'Because there are still diapers left, Mommy!'" [Cue group laughter] We use cloth diapers...

I don't know. R is so much younger than the other kids, and her milestones don't exactly line up with theirs, even if it's the same milestone, like potty training. I could add my two cents to the conversation, but I'd have to preface whatever I say with "I read somewhere, and I thought it was worth a try, to..." because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to be better than them. We do things differently, not to try to be better than the general population, but because it made sense to us. We use cloth diapers because we wanted to pay for our diapers all at once and reuse them. We started potty training early because we wanted to get her used to the idea of using the toilet before toddler rebelliousness kicked in. You (other mothers) chose disposable diapers for your own reasons. You potty train at the time you do and the way you do for your own reasons.

What does it really matter that we use cloth diapers or started potty training early? It's just different. But when I run the situations in my head-- of my possibly mentioning cloth diapers or early potty training-- it really does seem like I'm trying to be better than them. I don't want to be better than them. I want to be friends with them. I want R to have friends. Being more than half a year younger than those other little girls won't matter in a couple of years, but right now it does. We're different, trying to fit in at Storytime. I hope we manage it eventually.