Valid Reasons to be Concerned

First, we saw her face!!! Though she has been more than eager to show off that she is a girl, Poppy has buried her face deep into my pelvis during every ultrasound. Which is a lot. I'm up to weekly ultrasounds now, people. Well, Tuesday was a good day; the ultrasound technician printed off picture after picture of my girl's chubby little face. <3

This is the best one. Though she is squished up against the placenta here, at least her fingers aren't protruding from her forehead like demon horns. >:-(


Speaking of chubby.... girl's measurements are off the chart! My huge belly confirms this: Poppy is a BIG baby. This leads us to some problems with delivery, of course. My doctor's plan is to keep monitoring her growth (hence the weekly ultrasounds), and do an amniocentesis at 36 weeks to check her lung function. If her lungs show to be well developed by then, we'll be induced. If she needs more time to ripen, then I will most likely have to get a c-section closer to her due date. I've got my fingers crossed for strong, healthy lungs for the little miss (and I hope you do, too!), because I am terrified of getting cut open and having my milk be delayed coming in and ruining our chances of breastfeeding. This is my last baby... I really hope we can do it this time. Get it right this time. I hope.

In order to maximize our chances of breastfeeding, I wrote out a birth plan. I showed it to my doctor on Tuesday and she signed off on it, agreeing that the requests I made were do-able (under ideal conditions, of course). I asked for all the new age mom type stuff: no epidural, no episiotomy, immediate skin to skin contact after baby is born, don't cut cord until it has stopped pulsing, delay tests and evaluations by an hour, no eye goo, and no baths. I've done my research and all of these points make sense to me. I'm looking forward to my ideal birth scenario. I won't be crushed if complications arise and it doesn't happen all sunshine and roses as I'd like, but I do still like to believe it could happen this way.

An early delivery would throw a wrench in plans by adding a NICU stay to the equation. I got scared and freaked out on my doctor at the end of the appointment Tuesday. The nurse had reminded me that headaches and blurry vision were signs of pre-eclampsia, and wouldn't you know it, as I sat there under the fluorescent lights I started to get all fuzzy-eyed and tense in the brain. Compounded to those sensations are the facts that there will be a FULL MOON at the end of this week correlating with Poppy turning 33 WEEKS gestation (same conditions Rosemary was born under). Yeah, I was freaking out. My doctor talked me down, reassuring me that my blood pressure was still fine and there was no protein in my urine; everything looked good. She also reminded me that I can call or visit the office at anytime. She said most moms get jumpy around this time, but, being high risk, I have valid reasons to be concerned.

Lying here on the couch, gulping down water, waiting for the Procardia to erase these contractions that like to pop up every so often, yeah, I'm concerned.

The Long Morning

R had a rough morning today. I woke her up ten minutes early. She was snuggled under her quilt, refusing to be roused from her dreams. After a quick breakfast of oatmeal, I loaded her into the car and made the long drive to the doctor's offices at St. Mary's Hospital, where she was born.

We go to this place every two weeks. I set R up in a chair with a portable DVD player and let her zone out to Winnie the Pooh or Peter Pan while the docs ask me a million questions and review my insulin dosages. We're usually only there for an hour, but today was different. Today, Daddy showed up. Today, we were there for three hours. Today, we got to know that we are having R's little sister.



I have been looking forward to this ultrasound for so long. I knew it was a girl, I just knew it. This pregnancy is different than R's-- it's so much easier on me-- but still, the thought of "girl" rang clear and true in my mind, where "boy" didn't seem to fit. I had the same certainty with R.

The ultrasound tech left the room to confer with the doctor, and Senpai and I immediately whipped our phones out to send messages to family. R was getting antsy. She had no interest in her movies, was tired of being told to sit, and wanted nothing more than to be up on the exam table with Mommy.

My doctor came in and ran a second ultrasound to verify some results. A bit of calcium plaque was found in baby's heart, and she explained to me how that can be a Downs Syndrome marker, but there were no other signs of Downs, and otherwise healthy babies are born with it, too. I'm not worried.

We finally left the office after having been there for three long hours. R was out of sorts. She hadn't had the least bit of fun the entire morning, and had been told numerous times that she couldn't climb up on Mommy. Poor little lady. Senpai and I drove our separate cars to an Indian food buffet for lunch. R usually loves Indian food, but today she had no appetite. Senpai and I were reminded of her colic days when one of us had to hold her while the other one could eat, and then we'd switch off. Except there was no switching off today: the cupcake only had eyes for Mommy. I completely understood. She's used to having me available 24/7. She says "Up!" and I pick her up. She wants to climb on me and I let her climb on me. Today I was unavailable to her, and it was too much for her to bear. I didn't mind holding her during lunch, but it made things a little difficult that she couldn't decide what position she wanted to be in. A squirmy 20 mos old in one's lap does not make for easy eating.

Senpai went back to work after lunch, and R and I made the long drive back home. She had just fallen asleep when Oma called. "Poppy?" She sounded incredulous, "Poppy? What about Sage or Lavendar?" I had to chuckle to myself. Sage was our boy name. (If you don't know yet, R is Rosemary.) "I guess I'll just have to get used to it," she finished. Yup. :-D