Growing Stuff

In honor of Earth Day tomorrow, I figured I'd tell you about our garden. This is our third year of gardening, and it's exciting because we get better every year.

It all starts with compost.


We save our non-meat food scraps in a little container in the kitchen and then dump it outside into this hulking brute when it fills up. It's important not to throw meat bits into the compost because it will prevent scavenging type animals from being interested in your bin. There are lots of resources online for composting, but mostly you're supposed to alternate layers of kitchen scraps with outdoorsy stuff like grass clippings or raked leaves, and then every once in awhile you also turn the compost with a shovel to speed up the breakdown process. We never get to those parts. But it works just fine for us to collect our kitchen scraps, hence cutting down our garbage for the landfill. We would get more of the finished product (nutrient-rich dirt) if we did follow those steps.

Next is a place to plant.

Senpai is extremely proud of these raised garden beds that he made out of scrap wood that had been accumulating from all of our construction projects. I don't blame him.

This is what they started as:

Add some plants, lots of dirt, and compost, and now they look like this!


There's another garden on the side of our house.

All together, we're growing herbs, onions, tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, strawberries, raspberries, and lettuces.

I'm so excited for our crops to grow! Since we're getting so much better at growing food, I'm starting to get more comfortable with the idea of growing flowers, too. I used to think I had a black thumb, but to my surprise, I have successfully kept a few plants alive for awhile. I figured it was time to add more.

Remember the tulip bulbs I planted on Halloween? Look at them now!


And I love my lilac bush.

R likes it, too.

We have flower boxes with pansies in them, as well, but I haven't taken a good picture of them yet.

Well, there you have it. We like to grow stuff. I hope you get the gardening bug, too. Happy harvesting!

Fitting In

I've started taking R to Storytime at Barnes & Noble. It's nice for her to see the other kids and start getting involved in structured group activities. At 12 months old, though, she is at least eight months behind the other kids. I would like to would like to talk more with the other moms, but it's hard to strike up a conversation when you're herding toddlers just before lunch. Why does Storytime have to be at 11?



I took R over to the train table on the other side of the room when the kids began coloring. Another mom and her little boy soon came over and we started talking about allergies. Soon enough the other mothers and kids came over, and then I found it hard to get a word in edgewise. The mother of a twenty month old was saying, "She was on the potty at 16 months. We still have her in pull-ups at night..." R uses the potty... The mother of a three year old was saying, "So I ask her, 'Why don't you want to use the potty and wear your underwear like a big girl?' She answers, 'Because there are still diapers left, Mommy!'" [Cue group laughter] We use cloth diapers...

I don't know. R is so much younger than the other kids, and her milestones don't exactly line up with theirs, even if it's the same milestone, like potty training. I could add my two cents to the conversation, but I'd have to preface whatever I say with "I read somewhere, and I thought it was worth a try, to..." because I don't want to seem like I'm trying to be better than them. We do things differently, not to try to be better than the general population, but because it made sense to us. We use cloth diapers because we wanted to pay for our diapers all at once and reuse them. We started potty training early because we wanted to get her used to the idea of using the toilet before toddler rebelliousness kicked in. You (other mothers) chose disposable diapers for your own reasons. You potty train at the time you do and the way you do for your own reasons.

What does it really matter that we use cloth diapers or started potty training early? It's just different. But when I run the situations in my head-- of my possibly mentioning cloth diapers or early potty training-- it really does seem like I'm trying to be better than them. I don't want to be better than them. I want to be friends with them. I want R to have friends. Being more than half a year younger than those other little girls won't matter in a couple of years, but right now it does. We're different, trying to fit in at Storytime. I hope we manage it eventually.

Happy Welcome Home, R Day!

Today is the anniversary of R's discharge from the NICU. She's upstairs napping right now while I sit here in front of the computer and relive the day.


I was so happy I felt like I was going to burst. I couldn't stop the joy, the relief, the excitement from bubbling up under my skin. The "d" word had only been hinted at the day before, but there we were, signing release forms and packing up. Her little jaundice shades were missing, another baby must have needed them, but tiny diapers, tubes of zinc and petroleum, a nasal aspirator and thermometer were all thrown into a hospital bag. R was wearing an adorable short-sleeved outfit we had brought for her, but over top of that was also a warmer NICU outfit that the nurse convinced us she would need, and on her head was the cute little crochet hat she had been given when she was born. We buckled her snug into the car seat that had been sitting next to her bedside for weeks. We had brought it early so that it wouldn't be something to hold us back when the time came (I always pestered the nurses, "When will the car seat test be done?"). The blanket I crocheted went over the seat belts to protect her from the chill wind that was blowing that day.

When all of the paperwork was done... we walked out the NICU doors and didn't look back. The nurse pulled a plastic wagon that contained R in her car seat. We were still on hospital property, hence R was still in their care. Senpai and I walked beside the wagon feeling as joyful and proud as new parents who had only spent a day or two in the hospital instead of twenty.



I waited at the entrance with the nurse while Senpai pulled our vehicle up. This nurse I had hated only a few days before because she did not seem to be helping R get off the feeding tube. After expressing my concerns to her and the doctor, a new plan was put in place, and it worked. R was eating. And now I love that nurse for helping us get out of there. I hope she knows how much that means to us. She has to know.

Senpai opened the car door, the car seat clicked securely into its base, and we were off, homeward bound. Let me let that sink in for a moment: we were going home.


She had never been in the sunlight before this moment. The NICU is kept dim, womb-like, with the shades drawn over the windows. Here, for the first time in her life, she could feel the radiance of the sun.


We came home, and I put her in a baby sling. In the NICU, you aren't allowed to walk around while holding your baby. If you are holding her, you are seated. You may only hold her for so long before they gently remind you to put her back in her plastic bed. Having the option, the opportunity to strap her in close to me and go.. anywhere, for as long as.. anytime, was such a momentous change from the previous four weeks. I held her, and held her, and held her. I haven't let her go since.

Today's Two BIG Achievements!

Today has been a VERY special day for the R-baby. I don't know if I can even call her a baby anymore! Here are the two new developments that happened just this morning:

1. First words!!!

First words are tricky. Just because a baby knows how to make the sounds doesn't mean she knows what they mean. R has been saying "Dada" and "Mama" for months now, but I'm only halfway certain that she knows what they mean. We had a conversation in the car Friday that went something like this:

R, "Ki."
Me, "Do you see a kitty?"
No answer.
Me, remembering hearing a clunk sound the minute before, "Did you drop your toy keys?"
R, "Di."
Me, "I'll be stopping the car in just a little bit. I'll give you your keys back then, okay?"
R, "Di."

So those were almost words. But today, when the cat plopped in front of her and she said "kitty," and then when she clearly said "up" after I had picked her up, I can say with absolute certainty that she knows what they mean. :-D I need to pay more attention to what I say to her! And I absolutely need to "give her [more] words" as my Mom says. ^_^


2. She pooped in the potty.

Yes, she pooped in the potty!!! The Baby Whisperer books recommend starting potty training as early as 6 months, but I wasn't ready to take on the task until 12 months. We just started last week, putting her on the potty after her meals. The cupcake is very regular, usually pooping after lunch or before dinner, so I've been trying to catch her before she goes in her diaper. Today we did it! She has a small seat that goes directly on the toilet. Our routine is that she will sit on the seat and look at a potty book while a timer counts down 5 minutes (it's nice to give the potty trips a definite end). After lunch today, while she was still in her high chair picking at the last bits of noodles in her tray, I saw her starting to grunt. I quickly got her out of the high chair, rinsed the food off her hands, then whisked her into the bathroom. We sat there reading the book for almost the whole 5 minutes. Just when the timer was about to ring, she looked at me and started to whine. It was as if she was saying, "Mom, I have to poop! Where's my diaper?" I reassured her, "It's okay, Sweetie, this is where you're SUPPOSED to poop!" She tensed up and then I heard the water splash beneath her. I was so excited! I called Senpai right there in the bathroom while R was still pooping, ha! Is that rude? He was eating lunch. :-p Afterwards I made a big deal of showing her the poop and flushing it away. Then I hung the reward chart that came with her potty book on the fridge and put a sticker on it. I'm so proud! ^_^


Sigh. Happy Mommy memories. :-)

Revisiting the NICU

We went back to the NICU today.

I have yet to write a post about the NICU. It is sitting in my drafts collection, along with many other posts that get started but not finished. (Update: NICU post is here.) Suffice it to say, Rosemary's stay in the NICU was twenty long days of breast milk pumping, 26 mile drives to the hospital, one or two hours of gazing at my baby in the isolette, ham sandwich lunches in the courtyard, and then an hour to drive back home through rush hour traffic. Day in and day out, even on weekends: enter the parking garage and hope you find a spot, park, grab the breast pump and the cooler full of breast milk out of the car, enter the hospital's lobby, walk straight to the elevator and push the up button, wait, enter the elevator and push the button for the 5th floor, wait, exit the elevator, walk down the hall, turn right, slam the button to open the massive NICU doors, drop your stuff, kick the pedal on the floor to turn on the scaldingly hot water in the sink, pump antibacterial soap onto your hands and lather up to your elbows, rinse in the hot water, grab two paper towels from the dispenser (one is never enough), toss the paper towels in the trash, sign in at the front desk (Name: Kyla, Here to See: Rosemary, Time in: --:--, Time Out: --:--), pick up your stuff you left on the floor by the sink, walk straight to your daughter's bed, drop your stuff again, sit in the chair the nurse pulled up for you and gaze lovingly at your daughter until she wakes up.


Doors to the NICU.

20 days of the same thing, until we could finally bring her home. And I know there are families out there who go through much worse. Families who live further than 26 miles away from the hospital, families whose babies have much bigger health concerns than just not knowing how to eat, babies who stay in the NICU for much longer than 20 days. Those families have all of my sympathy, because our ordeal certainly took its toll on me.


Four days before she was released, but I didn't know it at the time. You can see the stress in my eyes and my fake smile.

So we went back today. It had been on my mind for awhile that I wanted to give something back to the NICU, and Rosemary's birthday was the perfect occasion. Ideally, the gift would have been a sack full of little hats that I would had crocheted for the tiny baby heads, but my crochet projects move agonizingly slow these days, and I have yet to successfully make a baby hat. So what I did instead was go out and buy two preemie boy outfits and two preemie girl outfits. The NICU had dressed Rosemary in their clothing while she was there, and we ended up taking one of their outfits home with us (I'm not going to give it back either). That being the case, I thought giving them more clothes was fitting.

Our experience going to the hospital was entirely different this time. We pulled into the parking garage and the attendant stopped us right at the entrance asking for our name and our business at the hospital. She said parking was free today, which was a very welcome change! We found a spot, pulled OUR BABY and gifts out of the car, entered the hospital's lobby, walked straight to the elevator and pushed the up button, waited, entered the elevator and pushed the button for the 5th floor, waited, exited the elevator, walked down the hall, turned right... and the doors were already wide open for us. Another family had just entered the NICU and it seemed like the doors were delaying their automatic close. They knew we were standing there, wanting to pass. Senpai and I stood in the hallway and had a little discussion about who should enter first, or should we all go even though Rosemary wasn't allowed due to her age. The doors were still open, waiting for us, so we took the chance and all went in together.

There was no hand washing. No signing in. The front desk attendant and a group of nurses who happened to be standing there were thrilled to see us. It took a bit of prodding for them to remember. She doesn't look like she was a preemie! What did you say your name was? How big was she when she came in? She was 4 lbs 13 oz when she was born. She's 22 lbs now! Is she walking yet? Not walking, no, but she can stand. It won't be too much longer! No... it won't.