I Feel Fat

"I feel fat."

That's what I said early September 2009 to a friend who asked if me I felt pregnant. Husband and I had just started trying to have a baby. In August I recorded notes in my Mac's calendar program: period from then to then, tried then, feeling like this then. I was pretty sure I was pregnant, but the pee sticks kept coming up negative (also recorded in the calendar... for posterity). It was Thursday when my friend asked me how I felt, and finally on Saturday morning, Labor Day weekend, the pee stick rang true: pregnant! From very early on my boobs were sore, I was bloated, and I peed like a racehorse (Seabiscuit to be exact, if you've seen "Juno"). But mostly, I felt fat.


So now, color me surprised when I say... I feel fat. My period was supposed to help me ring in the new year on Dec 31, but it hasn't stopped by for a visit yet. Usually I'm pretty regular when it comes to vaginal bleeding, so you can bet I was anxious when Jan 1 rolled around and there was still no sign of it. I'm starting this post at 11:00 pm on Jan 2, by the way. It won't be published just yet because the dang pee stick came out negative, and I really can't be too certain until I see a positive result, plus I have to tell my Mom before she reads it on the internet, but, yeah. I feel fat. And I have to pee a lot. And tonight I even felt too nauseous to eat dessert! Gasp! That never happens. But my boobs feel no different, probably because I'm still pumping miniscule amounts of breastmilk for R.

Okay, so now it's 7:00 am on Jan 3. I called my Mom already because I am not a morning person but somehow I was up at 5:00 devouring a bowl of ramen. Totally normal, right? But, might I add, I win the title of "Supermom" this morning: I made Senpai's breakfast and lunch, there's a loaf of banana bread baking in the oven, the laundry has been started, and I took a shower, all before R has woken up, on 3 1/2 hours of sleep, AND completely without coffee. Win!!!

Yup. Positive pee stick or not, I am calling the obgyn today. Now to publish this blog post and go forage in the cupboards for something else to curb my insatiable hunger.

Good morning!!!!! :-D